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Arizona Green Tea

For this review, we are going to Senior Tea analyst, Benson Clark.

If you took standard iced tea, and made it flat, you’d have Arizona Green Tea with Ginseng and Honey. Although the ingredients include the standard mix of high fructose corn syrup mixed with citric and ascorbic acids, it is easy for one to notice that honey plays a ridiculous role in the flavor of this beverage. In fact, this beverage actually tastes like watered down honey. Seriously.

Even though Arizona Green Tea runs at the exceptionally affordable cost of ninety-nine cents per mammoth can, the bargain does not benefit. I feel, without any doubt, that Dasani bottled water is a better interest to pursue than Arizona Green Tea with Ginseng and Honey.

And good riddance, I felt rough drinking out of this obnoxiously tall can.

April 13, 2006 @ 8:52 am - Comments (5767)

Gatorade Rain: Berry

Tonight’s beverage, Gatorade Rain: Berry. Like last night, we purchased this beverage at my possible future place of employment, Walgreens. While ringing up, the two bottles of Gatorade Rain rang up to 1.32$. Thinking something was ary, but willing to go with the flow, Alex gratefully handed over the 1.32$, only to find out that the half-robot-lady that works night shift at Walgreens forgot to hit total. Nice.

Gatorade Rain led me to nothing but dissapointment. This drink tastes like a regular tasty fruit drink on a diet. Watered down like the grass on Agusta, it kicks you in your teeth with a sharp sour aftertaste.

The only reason that Gatorade Rain is infact Gatorade Rain is because it is quite possible that they take old Gatorade, let it sit in the rain, let it get watered down, then rebottle it with a new label and a multi-million dollar ad campaign.

My advice: Skip on Gatorade Rain. I was drinking this beverage with classic Gamma meal, Taco Bell, and realized that the tacos may be affecting my judgement. After a pallette clensing, I realized that it wasn’t the tacos making this crap taste bad, it was this crap just tasting awful.

March 25, 2006 @ 1:15 am - Comments (6680)

Snapple Apple

Tonight’s evening beverage is Snapple Apple, the all natural drink made by the loving people at Snapple Inc. I purchased this drink at walgreens, where I plan on applying for employment. Anyways, onto the good stuff.

Snapple Apple, as it’s called, doesn’t taste like any ordinary juice. I expected the juice to taste like a standard apple juice. But, lone behold, it tastes like you are biting into the forbidden fruit itself, like you are licking the sweet nectar straight out of the apple.

I enjoy the quote on the side of the label, “Your snapple is made from the best stuff on Earth. Since only all natural ingredients are used, taste, color, and body my vary.” Not only are the wonderful marketing people at Snapple trying to be trendy, but the Jews will love this bottle of snapple, because it is labelled a Kosher Pareve. I’m sure matisyahu will approve of this glorious, very jewish beverage.

“Snapple apple is Apple Snapple. Say that three times fast.” Another wonderful gimmick from the lovely marketing department.

My reccomendation: next time you are looking for an apple tasting evening beverage, choose Snapple Apple. You simply can’t go wrong.

March 24, 2006 @ 12:47 am - Comments (6146)